random meanderings

December is around the corner and 

I’ve been feeling my age creeping up on me lately. 

Yes, I get it, lots of good life ahead to appreciate. 

But, there is this bitch in my ear whispering that 
I am not as young as I used to be. 

I'm 30 ish – and I hope I’m owning the ‘30s is the new 20s’ hehehe.

 Anxiety attacks from balancing work, family and life in the past 7 years 

has positively fast-tracked my aging by a decade (at least)

 – that much I’m sure !

Earlier this year during some pregnancy complications, my OBGYN said something that got a light bulb flickering in my brain somewhere, 

“with every pregnancy, your body changes because your body is not as young, tight, and elastic as it used to be!” 

(yeah she said elastic…bitch whaaaaaaaaAAA?)

Her words ring truth - my life is going through it's own changes, 
my body is constantly changing, 
my skin is...not so much elastic
  and my brain? - changing like WOW!

Like I’m always forgetting where I last put my car keys. 

Last week, my 7yr old found my keys by the baby food in the fridge!

I still have plenty goals I want to achieve (and getting a tummy tuck is high on that list)

And my kids…these buggers are getting older too. 

Their childhoods feel like they’re marching to a number, 

slipping away like a warm summer breeze.

I am overwhelmed! 

I feel stuck! 

Stuck at work and missing out on making memories with my children. 

I know I can wiggle myself out of this hole; because I know what the struggle is.

I’ve always been a workaholic, 

but I’ve also convinced myself that being a workaholic is not a bad thing! 

I am providing for my family (and an extra pair of shoes) 

I shouldn’t feel bad about it. 

But alas, here we are again, back at square 1, 

with work dictating how much time I get to spend with my family.

This balancing act is a real BIATCH!

I need to find my balance and all will be right in my world!

Whatever life throws my way going forward

 - I know I need to take care of my body, my brain, 

cherish my babies, say my prayers, and grab hold of all my dreams 

– every single one of them..

no matter how small, big or crazy they may be!