midnight nonsense

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As I sit here eating two ham and cheese sandwiches because I just finished pumping milk for my 2month old child, I think about all the things that I have been through this past couple of months. YES, because this is my BLOG and it's all about me so if you're not interested; please don't hit your head on your way OUT.

First of, I now truly believe why women are the backbone and the forefront of the home/family. I have experienced it first hand these past months. I don't mean to complain or whine; (oh wait, I am whining and I CAN whine so let me be) but I've been feeling pretty stressed as of late.
I feel like both the man and the woman in the family.
I feel like I'm contributing way more than the baby daddy and I just want to slap him across the face for not contributing more. (but then again, that may just be my dramaqueen self talking)
I feel like I'm NOT doing enough for my child and it kills me to know that I can do more/better.
I feel like a mad woman running back and forth between work and home to feed bubs
Most times I have to force him off my susu and onto the bottle so I can get back to work (some very IRATE pple) on time, and I HATE that I have to do that to him.
Eh se shamen padaken ia se....Ua ka fia superwoman a i legei vaikaimi..

By the end of each day, I'm so frickin knackered but still, I have to do laundry, work on my paper, tend to baby some more and go to sleep at 1am, wake up again at 4am and its the same routine all over again.
oi aueeee malia e, alofa mai.
I feel like I'm drowning but too tired to swim. A friend of mine said it's Postpartum Stress. ahar. I think I'm just stressed fullstop, and that I NEED to take a darn break and breathe, and let everyone deal with the garbage and everything else. lol

ANyways, my sandwich is finished now and I have no energy to go on rambling so I'll just leave it here for now. I'm not making any sense and I've forgotten the moral of the story..choohoooo

good nite errybody
fai se miti malie

Comments

Fotuosamoa said…
kalofa e...i know what youre saying...its flippin' depressing having to switch on the momma key and then off again to work with the grown ups...pau a le mea o le through o lau oe tantrum to get the desired response hah....and if all else fails, book one way to samoa on the other halfs credit card...works every time (-:
November 25, 2009 at 1:23 AM
kuaback said…
ahar..done the one way ticket..ended baaaaadddddddddddd..
done the tantrum..only saw a change for like uumm.hhmm..a week?
maybe its time for another tantrum and another one way ticket..
November 25, 2009 at 1:31 AM
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