Get a damn mouth guard

So the hubby and I have been on this ISSUE for a while now; and when I say 'while', I mean, ever since we got married, while. Yes, it has been that long *shrugs*

S has a problem when he sleeps. He grinds his darn teeth pretty loudly and it gets on my nerves because he doesn't even know he's doing it. He doesn't hear himself, while I on the other hand, I hear him loud and clear.

It never really bothered me before, as long as I'm asleep before him, I'll be fine because I'm a heavy sleeper. But if he knocks out before I do, then he can be sure that he'd be falling off the bed sometime in the middle of the night.
Lately, I've been having some trouble sleeping, so I wake up to every little squeaky noise. Totally the opposite from before and it's very annoying.

So last week Thursday, we got into it again;

Me - You really need to get a damn mouth guard. You're getting on my nerves

S - What for?

Me- So I don't have to hear you grind your frickin teeth at night.

S - Well then get earplugs *laughing at me*

Me - HELL NO! You're the one with the problem, so you need to fix it

S - I don't have a problem. You're the one with the problem. YOU CAN'T SLEEP

Me - that's because you keep grinding your TEETH dammit

S- yeah, but I can sleep properly, YOU CAN'T

Me - and that's because of YOU.

S - I think you need to get sleeping pills huney.

ME- F* NO! (screaming now) you get a F**n mouthguard

S- I don't want no lumpy thing in my mouth while I sleep. It SUCKs

Me- I dont give a shit, just get IT

S - ok ok I will..

Me- and get it fast or you'll be sleeping on the couch

S - Fine.

Me - Fine

The next night, there was still no mouth guard.
Of course he was grinding his teeth so I literally kicked him OFF the bed.
He got up and climbed rite back in saying "Sorry hunney"
It took me a while to get back to sleep and when I did, he started grinding his teeth again. aarrrrgggghhh..
I slapped him rite on his mouth and he quickly sat up (I think he was mad..lol)

Me - You need to go sleep on the couch. I work tomorrow and I need to sleep.

S - Eh *scratching his head and gathering his pillows*

The next day, which was Saturday, S was off to town to find a mouth guard. He came back with nothing. He said he went to all the stores and they don't sell mouth guards. This is all Bullshit I tell ya, because I know for sure that WalMart sells them.

ANyways, last night, I knocked out after Desperate Housewives and Brother's and Sisters while S was camping on Craigslist looking for some good deals.

I got up at around 2:30am for a bathroom run and lo and behold, S was not in bed. I checked the next room to see if he was playing playstation; NOPE, no one there. SO I called him, and he answered with a sleepy voice;

S- "yeah"
Me- Where are you?
S - sleeping on the couch
Me- WHY?
S- so you can get a good sleep.

as much as I wanted to jump for joy and say "Alleluiah AMen";
I told him that it was Ok and that he can come back up and sleep in the bed. (you see mom, I'm not a wicked witch from west) But he better get that mouth guard TODAY